Everybody has this friend (maybe you are this friend?) that tried every kind of diet, that exercises a lot and is fat or just chubby.

A lot of this is mental or just plain stupidity so there’s nothing really to do. except, if a person decides to take control of his life and to stop bitching about it. (As you can see I have this friend too… and she’s driving me crazy!)

Here are some golden rules for losing fat:

·         You lose FAT, not weight! Get that into your brain! If you want to lose weight go read a pro ana blog not my blog because here you’re only going to learn how to lose fat, look hot and be healthy!

·         It’s your big fat ass so YOU need to move it! Some people think if they’re getting a personal trainer it’s going to make them skinny but there’s a limit to what we are allowed to do… Sometimes I wish I can be more firm with you but I’m pretty sure it’s not legal. If you cheat, if you stop moving when I’m not looking and if you work 50% of what you can; you are one dumb fat bitch!

·         Every time you go to the gym you need to beat what you did yesterday (and yes, you were at the gym yesterday; you’re not getting the results you want by coming only 2-3 times a week… More like 4-5-6 times a week!).

·         You need to realize you don’t know what you’re doing. If you knew what you were doing you wouldn’t have been fat anymore, right? You took a professional so listen to what they have to say! Don’t try to outsmart us because you’re going to stay fat; there’s a reason for what we say.

·         There’s no short cut! No magic! You watch what you eat, you eat to fuel your training and you move your ass. SLEEP, EAT, TRAIN and REPEAT.

·         It’s not just how hard you train; it’s the consistency that counts! Training 30 min a day for 5 times a week is much better than 2 hours  a week. It’s a lifestyle - not a trend. It’s your little black dress compared to your skinny jeans. (P.s, every woman looks better in LBD than in skinny jeans anyway….)

·         1200 calories a day is a dumb idea. It’s only to prevent you from starving. You know what people who suffer from starvation have a lot of? FAT! Just like you, FATTY! If you’re dumb enough to think 1200 calories a day is healthy then you’re dumb enough to think all calories are equals… They’re not! You know you should probably just eat sugar free syrup! It’s calories free and you can drink 100 liters a day and nothing’s going to happen to you because it’s calories free, right??? NO!!! If you’re so concerned with the calories and cutting all healthy food you will stay fat and you’ll probably get cancer too! Is that what you want? Some things have higher calories but they’re full of vitamins and minerals you need and some things have higher calories and SUGAR value - like watermelon whuch is mostly water so the sugar doesn’t really count. I’m not telling you to eat a whole watermelon a day but you need to look at what you eat and not just the nutrition value of it!

·         You gotta work on 3 things in the gym: cardio, strength and flexibility. I tell it to every lifter: flexibility and cardio make you a better lifter. If you’re trying to lose fat you need to lift and not just cardio and if you lift you need to lift you need flexibility.

·         The only person that cares how much you lift, how fast you run is YOU! Stop worrying how you look and what others think because nobody cares about you. Realize it, embrace it and OWN IT!

·         Drinking 6 cups of tea a day is not healthy. Stop trying to find a way around your desires, if you crave something just have it! All this trying to outsmart your body is going to bite you in your fat ass!

·         Don’t say you listen to your body. It takes years to learn to do it and you need to put your body in all kind of situations, some of them extreme, in order to learn the boundaries. It took Arnold Schwarzenegger 10 years to learn it; do you really think you’re just going to figure it over night? If you knew your body you would have the body that you wanted; do you have the body that you want? No! So realize you don’t know what you’re doing and stop being dumb.

·         The portions that you eat might be what the government recommends but is it what you need? Are you exactly the same person as your friend? Spouse? Co-worker? I hope for you that you were not manufactured in a factory and that you came to the world through a vagina… So that’s your portion from now on: 6 16 ounce water, 5 serving of lean protein (25 grams each), 4 serving of veggies (1 cup raw or ½ cup cooked), 3 serving of complex carbs (25 grams each), 2 serving of healthy fat (15gram each ) and 1 serving of fruit. In case you’re my client and take something from your diet (for example the crabs) for a reason, you can have AS MANY PROTEIN AND FAT AS YOU WANT INSTEAD! Meaning, this portion only works if you need it all; the 6,5,4,3,2,1 diet only works if you keep it exactly like that. If you changed something it all needs to change. So don’t tell me “you took all my food I’m going to starve”. You’re not going to starve. Just listen to what I say because if you can eat as many protein and fat as you want I don’t think you can starve!

Does it make sense? I had to take it out of my heart…. i’m sorry… Just to make you happy ’'ll give you a recipe for brownies!

White chocolate brownie:

Ingredients for 6-8 servings:
- 1 cup white beans (rinsed and drained)
- 1/4 cup vanilla whey protein powder
- 1/4 cup oats
- 50 g white chocolate
- 1/2 cup raw peeled zucchini (70 g)
- 1 egg white

Directions:

Melt the white chocolate, then mix all ingredients together in a food processor (without baking or steaming the zucchini before, I just used raw zucchini). I baked the mix for about 20 min at 200-220 Celsius. It’s better to let the brownies completely cool down before serving. They’re firmer and they taste better after a few hours in the fridge.

Research and writing by Dana Gat ©2014